Update on Recent Posts

Go to http://stantonworks.blogspot.com/ for recent posts.

(Good) Friday

Today is Friday. Furthermore, it is “Good Friday.” When, though, is Friday NOT good? Isn’t that what “TGIF” is all about? Strangely, yesterday felt like Friday to me for some reason. And I think that “feeling” is the best thing about Friday — the thing that may even make it better than Saturday. Friday is all about the relief of having made it through another week and about the anticipation of Saturday. And if your life is like mine, the anticipation is usually better than than the reality.

This has been a week that I am glad to close the book on. In addition to the passing of Emily’s grandmother and the funeral and all, I have also found out that I have shingles. Shingles! How odd for a man my age, I think. It is a mild case so far, but it is still uncomfortable. I am taking a heavy dose of anti-viral medication to shorten the duration and lessen the severity. Let’s hope it works.

The week has not been without some pleasant times. The irony of deaths and funerals is that they create reunions. I saw people this week whom I haven’t seen in as long as 13 years. Some had aged and changed dramatically. Others not at all. Thankfully, everyone agreed that I still look young. Someone, in fact, thought I was Emily’s boyfriend — a complement to me and a disturbing thought for her.

I am, as the week closes, reminded of the “Circle of Life” theme from The Lion King as we have celebrated and mourned, greeted and said good-bye, listened and talked and remembered. During it all, it has been Holy Week in the Christian tradition — a theme not lost in the events at all. So, indeed, it is Friday — and a good one. Best wishes for a joyous Easter weekend to start the Spring.

A Picture of Courage and Grace

This will be a brief post, but one I felt the need to write.

The memorial service and burial of Emily’s grandmother was yesterday. To my surprise, Emily delivered an eulogy. The original plan was that she would write something and let the minister read it. Instead, she did it herself.

At 16, this kid has amazed me more times that I can remember. But to stand in front of a packed church (where her grandmother was executive secretary and office manager for over 20 years), and to speak in spite of her grief was truly a picture of courage and grace. Her eulogy was written with eloquence and sensitivity and even humor — all very appropriate qualities given the occasion. And her delivery was somber and sweet and funny at times. She is a living testament to the strength of Marilyn Dell, who would have been so proud. I know I was.

Done Too Soon (The Mother-In-Law, part 2)

I promised an update in my “Mother-In-Law” post. Here it is.My daughter’s much-beloved grandmother quietly slipped away from us late Friday night, mere hours after being moved to a lovely hospice center. My phone rang about 10:15 that night. I could tell it was Emily, but could not make out her words over the sobs that brought tears even to a stoic such as me. I didn’t even change clothes and got to the facility as quickly as I could. Once there, all I could do is hold her while she cried.

Marilyn’s condition worsened Thursday afternoon, and Emily’s mom called me to take Emily to the hospital. Even then, we didn’t know if we would get there in time. Thankfully, we did. When we walked into the room, I saw a young girl’s heart break right before my eyes. Then I felt my own break. We spent the evening there, and Emily sat and rubbed her grandmother’s hand and kissed her head and told her over and over that she loved her. Marilyn was able to open her eyes only a few times, and then briefly. She knew her grandchildren were there. Emily and her cousin Christopher were the joys of her life. Someone would later say that she waited to see them one last time before she left. As far as we know, theirs were the last faces she ever saw. In that fact, there is a certain beauty amid such sadness. As Emily said Friday night, “She wasn’t just my grandmother; she was my best friend.” And she was very right.

So the fight is over. It wasn’t even much of a fight. A mere five weeks ago, Marilyn drove herself to the doctor’s office because she wasn’t feeling well. His nurse took her to the hospital. She never even returned to her house. The disease was brutal and efficient.

I am reminded of a Neil Diamond song, Done Too Soon, wherein he recites the names of many people through history — some great, some not. The song ends with a slow and contemplative verse which now seems apt. I will close with that verse.

…And each one there
Has one thing to share:
They have sweated beneath the same sun;
Looked up and wondered at the same moon;
And wept when it was all done,
For being done too soon.

Blogging in English Since 2007

It is Friday! And not a day too soon, either. Being brain-fried and emotionally drained, I wanted to do a light post to fill the space today.

A while back I wrote about the “next blog” button at the top of the page. I am still mystified by it, wondering what determines which blogs will come up when you click the button. I wondered if it might be those with the most hits. Nope. I saw one the other day that was brand new, containing a single post. Overall quality does not seem to be a factor, either. I have found a few of my “regular reads” while randomly searching the “next blog” button. One of those, in fact, is perhaps one of the best blogs on the web. In spite of that, the magic button has only produced it once. Of course, what upsets me most is that MINE has never appeared. Yep, that’s what it all boils down to!

When I first started playing with the little button months ago, it was fun to see an occasional blog in another language and try to figure out what it was all about. Of late, however, the foreign language blogs appear to be overtaking those in English. A few days ago, in fact, I tried an experiment. I decided to click “next blog” twenty-five times. Eighteen (18) of the twenty-five were in foreign languages. So it begs the question: Are roughly 75% of the blogs hosted here really non-English, or does the mystery button merely favor them over — well, over MINE? I detect a conspiracy. And I must get to the bottom of it!

I warned at the outset that this post would be fairly meaningless. I have no qualms whatsoever with people blogging in whatever language they happen to know. I only wish I could read them. Maybe some of those folks are seeing this blog and wondering what I have to share with the world. (It could happen.) For the time being, I take solace in thinking I may be in an “elite” twenty-five percent of writers doing it in English. So there you have it: “Michael Young — blogging in English since 2007.”

The Mother-In-Law

For kicks someday when you have nothing to do, try a web search on “mother-in-law.” Jokes abound! Mothers-in-law, I suppose, make easy targets — much safer than wives (or husbands). I have had two mothers-in-law. In spite of that fact, I can’t recall telling a single joke about either of them. In fact, I was (and still am) rather fond of both of them.

Amy’s mother lived far away from us, so our time together was infrequent and brief. Oh, yeah — the marriage itself was Hollywood-like in duration, too. Nevertheless, I got along well with Amy’s mom (Joan). It seems that she and I both have an affinity for Edna St. Vincent Millay, 2oth Century American poet. Like me, Joan also fancies herself somewhat of a “word smith.” Our common bond, then, was (other than an affection for Amy) our shared nerdiness.

My first wife was Sharon. It was that union that produced Emily, our daughter and constant source of happiness. Sharon grew up here in Jacksonville, but we met in graduate school in Louisville, KY. I first met her mother, Marilyn, in the spring of 1988 when I visited Jacksonville for the first time. I liked her immediately because I could make her laugh — something she does easily. I was the consummate doofus at the time, and she took me in stride. A month later, I proposed to her daughter. Shortly thereafter, I called Marilyn from Louisville and bravely called her “Mom.” She laughed and laughed. Within a week, I had a nicely handwritten letter from her saying how much that “Mom” had meant to her. I still have that letter somewhere. Sharon and I have been divorced for some 13 years now. Still, as recently as two hours ago, I called Marilyn “Mom.”

I could tell many stories about this woman and her influence on my life (and Sharon’s, and Emily’s) for the past twenty years. Another time, perhaps. We just learned a few weeks ago that Marilyn has cancer — lymphoma. I saw her in the hospital a little over a week ago. She didn’t laugh at all, and that is how I knew just how poor her condition was. Treatment is failing, it seems. This morning, I wrote her a note telling how much she has meant to me. After all, in twenty years, I have failed to do so.

I had “that talk” with my daughter last night, not wanting her to bottle her feelings up — a family tradition, it seems. Marilyn has been so much more than a grandmother to Emily. She has been babysitter, nurse, teacher, friend, and so on — on nearly a daily basis for Emily’s entire life. Emily surely knows that, short of a miracle, her grandmother’s time with us seems to be shorter than we thought even a week ago. I wish I knew how to prepare her for that, but I don’t. She did cry last night, and she said that her mom is a “basket case.” So the grieving has started. That is, I think, a positive thing. None of them should look back with any regrets as they have always been openly loving and have spent untold amounts of time together. Again, that is a positive thing. The pending void, however, will be titanic.

To my readers — as you mediate, pray, think or whatever you do, lift up a loving thought for Marilyn — and for Emily and for Sharon and the rest of the family as the source of their strength for so long is now in need of theirs (ours). Appreciate your loved ones today. Life can change tomorrow.

Updates to follow.

A Night of Comedy

One of my older posts was about comedy — one of my favorite things, to be sure. That is why I frequent our local comedy club, The Comedy Zone, whenever I have a chance.

Going to a comedy club is a crap shoot, and I know that going in. Many of the comics are local — especially the ones who serve as emcee. One, in fact, has appeared several times. He hails from Jacksonville’s west side and specializes in “trailer park humor.” Humor? Okay, that’s a stretch. But the “emcee” guys all seem to be cut from the same cloth. They dress the same, they have “that walk,” and they seem to write their jokes together. Jokes? Another stretch. Yet they fill that void in the show that allows the late arrivals to find their seats without missing anything important. And they make whoever performs next seem so much better. Well, sometimes.

Don’t get me wrong. We get very good acts (even great acts) here on a regular basis. Some, although not names known by everyone in the general public, are clearly professional and very skilled. I am always happy when I show up for one of those. Again, you just don’t know until you get there. Then there are the nationally known headliners that we get from time to time. Richard Jeni was here a few years back, for example. The club is small, so tickets go quickly for the big acts. Sadly, I missed Richard Jeni for that very reason.

This past weekend we had David Alan Grier. I was able to score tickets for the Friday night show. Again, a local emcee guy dressed like he had just been in a fight staggered out and attempted a few erection jokes before bringing out a British guy whose name I did not get. He did a 20-minute set that killed. I would, in fact, like to see him again. And then David Alan Grier took the stage. The expression, “hit the ground running,” has never been so apt! He was upbeat, sharp, witty, impulsive, raw and sometimes downright filthy — but absolutely hilarious for some 45 minutes. And therein I saw that undefinable, yet undeniable, difference between the true professionals and the others. Grier, by his own admission, had “twenty minutes of dick jokes.” But what comic doesn’t? Emcee guy tried the dick route and came up flaccid. Grier, on the other hand, kept us in stitches.

I won’t belabor the point. Support you local comedy clubs — even the local comics. Sometimes their badness actually makes them funny. And you’ll occasionally find a diamond in the rough. Either way, laughter is a joy well worth the price of admission and the one-drink minimum. So lighten up a bit and go!

Happy Leap Day?

I heard a joke once:

    Q: In what month do women talk the least?
    A: February, of course. It only has 28 days!

I didn’t say it was a funny joke. And it isn’t.

While February is always the oddball of the calendar, we do become accustomed to the 28 day rule of thumb. But then there’s leap year to throw everything off. I have always both pitied and envied those people born on February 29th. It is certainly an inconvenience in many ways, but a certain conversation starter in others.

Frankly, I am surprised that Hallmark hasn’t made February 29th a “holiday.” Or have they? Somebody somewhere is surely making a buck off it somehow. My suggestion: Move Valentine’s Day to February 29th. That suggestion alone, if passed, would make me a hero to men everywhere. It would also make me anathema to women everywhere. Oh, yeah — I think I have that covered already.

I used to know exactly why we add a day every few years — five, I think it is. Something to do with making the calendar year fit the actual time of a revolution around the sun? Maybe it is proof positive that God has a sense of humor. Whatever the reason, it did give me a reason to write my third post of the week to meet my quota. Ain’t life grand?

Happy Leap Day. Do something fun!

Procrastinator’s Resolutions

Except for the Longfellow poem I posted on New Year’s Eve, I completely missed the opportunity to develop New Year’s Resolutions and share them with the world. As the saying goes, better later than never. Here are a few things I am working on.

• Blogging. I enjoy writing, and have been told I do it well. Accordingly, I resolve to keep the blog going in hopes of making positive connections with good people everywhere.

• Writing (by hand). I recently happened upon a program on PBS about former US presidents. They happened to be talking the elder George Bush, whose letters had been published in a book a few weeks prior. A special point was make that his letters were hand-written. He commented that he never used e-mail or the computer in his personal correspondence, preferring to write by hand to make it more meaningful and personal. I felt a bit ashamed, as I used to write letters and notes all the time by hand. Of course, there was little choice then. Nevertheless, somewhere in a box in my attic are volumes of handwritten poems, stories, letters, and so forth. Wouldn’t it be nice if someone years from now decided to publish them — in their handwritten form? I also realized that my ability to write had diminished greatly — from lack of practice. Other than my signature, I rarely write anything with a pen. What a shame! So, for Christmas, I got a nice new fountain pen, and I resolve to use it! If you send me your address, I will write you a letter. How’s that?

• Reading. I read a quote from Mark Twain saying, “The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.” I will endeavor, therefore, to read a minimum of one book a month. More would be even better. Recommend a few, please.

• Back to the Gym! I work out like I blog: As long as I’m in a routine, all is well. If, however, something ever interrupts that routine, I take forever to re-establish it. I had eye surgery in July, after which I was to take 2 weeks from working out to recover. It has now been six months! Enough said.

There are a few more, but they are of a more personal nature. I’ll spare you those. But these will get me started. I’ll update you from time to time.

The Sad Tale of a Wayward Blogger

Time flies — whether you’re having fun or not. I wanted to take a few weeks off from writing, so I announced a “sabbatical,” saying I would return in a few weeks. Well, that was in early October. I think it is either time to return or to hang it up. So I’m back.

We missed a few important occasions, so let me address those now:

• Happy Thanksgiving!
• Merry Christmas!
• Happy New Year!
• Happy Valentine’s Day!

And so forth. As I recall, February 11th was the anniversary of my first blog post. I had hoped to write something that day. Alas, such is life. My goal will be to post three times a week. Several things have happened since I last wrote, so I’ll write about those first. This will really be like starting over in a way. As always, if you see anything here that you like, please tell a friend. I very much enjoy writing when someone is reading. And post comments so I know you’re there.

Finally, I started experimenting with this locations as a new hosting site for the blog I started at Blogger. So for the time being, I will be mirroring the content here and at http://stantonworks.blogspot.com. I will welcome any feedback regarding a preference.